From Caregiver to Griever: What I Learned Sitting at My Sister’s Bedside

On December 20, 2024, I sat by my sister’s bedside, holding her hand as she took her last breaths. Even in her final days, she would greet me with a soft, “I love you,” whenever I entered the room. That simple phrase—spoken so many times over the years—now echoes in my memory, a reminder of the deep bonds that caregiving and loss can forge.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a hospital room, the steady beep of monitors in the background, the scent of antiseptic in the air, you know how time seems to slow down. I remember the way my sister’s hand felt in mine—warm, fragile, and familiar. Sometimes we’d sit in silence, other times we’d reminisce about childhood, laughing quietly so as not to disturb the nurses. In those moments, I realized how much comfort can be found in just being present, in sharing a touch or a few simple words.

The Many Roles We Carry

Balancing caregiving with my work as a professor, podcast host, and coach was overwhelming. There were days when I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water—juggling lesson plans, grading, and podcast scripts while also making sure my sister had everything she needed. I know I’m not alone in this. According to a 2024 AARP report, 67% of family caregivers struggle to balance work and caregiving, and many have to make tough choices about their careers.

Technology as a Lifeline

During this time, technology became an unexpected ally. Tools like ChatGPT helped me organize my thoughts and draft lesson plans, while Otter AI transcribed interviews, saving me precious time. These tools didn’t replace the human touch, but they gave me a little breathing room—something every caregiver needs. Still, I learned that no app or AI can replace the comfort of a hand to hold or a voice saying, “I love you.”

The Power of Community and Storytelling

Grief is universal, but every story is unique. Maybe you’ve been in a similar place—sitting with a loved one, feeling both helpless and grateful for the chance to be there. Maybe you’ve whispered words of comfort, or just sat in silence, letting your presence speak for you. If so, I hope you’ll share your story in the comments below, or reach out if you’d like your experience to be featured in a future post or podcast episode. Your story might be the one someone else needs to hear.

Resources for Caregivers and Those Grieving

If you’re navigating the aftermath of caregiving or the loss of a loved one, you don’t have to do it alone. Here are some organizations and resources that offer support, community, and practical help:

• GriefShare: A national network of grief recovery support groups, offering both in-person and online meetings.
• CaringInfo (NHPCO): Guidance on grief, loss, and supporting grieving caregivers.
• Caregiver Action Network: Education, peer support, and resources for family caregivers.
• Hospice Foundation of America: Compassionate guidance on end-of-life care and bereavement support.
• The Dougy Center: Grief support for children, teens, and families.
• KARA: Local Bay Area grief support.

For more on the challenges caregivers face, see the AARP 2024 report and the Family Caregiver Alliance for statistics on the emotional toll of caregiving.

A Final Thought

Memoir is an act of trust and vulnerability—a way to connect our private pain to the shared human experience. If you are writing your own story, or simply living through a season of loss, know that your voice matters. By sharing, we help each other heal.

Thank you for reading, and for being part of this community. I hope you’ll share your story below, or pass this invitation along to someone who might need it today.

If you need immediate support, consider reaching out to a local hospice, grief counselor, or a national helpline. You are not alone.

This piece came together as I was working on an upcoming episode for my podcast, A Journalist’s Guide to AI, where I explore the intersection of technology, storytelling, and the human experience.