5 Coaching Books That Changed How I Show Up
These books helped me coach through grief, burnout, and one of the hardest years of my life—while becoming the kind of guide I needed myself.
As I near graduation from The Coaching Essentials (TCE) — a year-long coaching certification led by Cami McLaren — I’ve been thinking about the books that helped me survive this last year.
Most of them I listened to on Audible for months—during early morning walks, late-night grading sessions, or long drives to Vallejo to be with my sister, Mika McMillan—until she died on December 20. That rhythm of listening—in motion, in grief, in service—mirrors how I now coach: with presence, flexibility, and deep compassion.
These books didn’t just teach me frameworks. They helped me hold it together.
Book Yourself Solid for Coaches & Consultants
This one stuck with me. The idea that likability is key helped me reframe how I show up — especially when I felt like disappearing. This book reminded me that being seen is a service.
“People buy you first. They buy your energy, your attitude, and your approach before they ever buy your services.”
— Michael Port & Matthew Kimberley
Co-Active Coaching, 4th Edition
It’s a foundational guide — one I still return to when I feel disconnected. Co-Active taught me to partner with clients, not “fix” them. It helped me slow down, especially during emotionally intense moments — like preparing for my oral exam while grieving.
“Coaching is not a tool for fixing people. It is a process for evoking transformation.”
— Kimsey-House, Sandahl, Whitworth, & Kimsey-House
NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming
“The meaning of your communication is the response you get.”
— Hoobyar, Dotz & Sanders
This book helped me find language for things I had sensed but never quite articulated. Tools like reframing, anchoring, and noticing tone became invaluable — both in coaching and in my personal healing.
Coach the Person, Not the Problem
This book softened me. It helped me stop trying to “solve” my clients — and instead, trust that being fully present was enough.
“What gets in the way is the assumption that it’s our job to solve something. We forget that people are not problems.”
— Marcia Reynolds
Why this list matters:
These titles supported me while I:
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- Grieved my sister
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- Balanced teaching, podcasting, and coaching training
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- Learned how to hold space for others — even when I was running on empty
If you’re a coach, mentor, or someone navigating deep personal change, I hope one of these books meets you at the right time.
Want to check them out?
Here are the versions I recommend:
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